Ian On The Red Dot

About three weeks ago, I started work at a new company. Every morning, I would have breakfast with my father before going to work.

One of the images etched in my memory that I associate with a young couple in love who have just started their marriage and family life together is that of my mom and dad kissing at the door of my HDB flat before my dad leaves the home to fight the battles at work to provide for the family.

Somehow, watching the scene in the movie 300 where Queen Gorgo tells Gerald Butler’s King Leonidas to ‘Come back with your shield or on it’ before he heads off to fight the Persians invoked that memory of my mom and dad at the door.

Each morning, when I am having breakfast, I will see young couples having breakfast together before heading to their respective offices. In the mundane activity of two people having a meal, I find something terribly romantic.

I am attracted to the image of two people working in harmony, like two dancers who have perfected their routine, to find seats and purchase their food; as they sit across each other nourishing their body, the space between their gazes filled with unspoken support and encouragement for what lies ahead; the joining of hands as they leave the table to work separately in their own jobs yet together towards a shared future filled with their hopes and dreams and the final, hesitant, almost regretful, unbonding of their fingers as they part at the junction.

In those moments when I look up from my cup of coffee and see such couples, my heart longs for the chance to create such memories of a young couple who have just started their marriage and family life together working towards a shared destiny.

A few years ago, I tried to write a poem expressing the above sentiment. I thought that since valentine’s day is coming and the pain from that episode of my life has since passed, that it might be a good time to share it with whoever might be reading this blog.

A wandering soul, alone and lonely.
on this supposed path of my destiny.
Tired, I rest beneath a roadside tree.
Sitting, I witness weary travelers,
stop by the side to admire a rose.

The rose’s beauty brings smiles on every face,
its sweet scent refreshes the tired soul.
I, too, fell in love with this sweet sweet rose,
plucked it for company on my travels.

She brought joy to a lonely sad journey,
but I couldn’t care for her, didn’t know how.
Desperately, I tried to plant her again,
to save her but she just withered and died.

Hate myself for ruining this precious rose.

Valentine’s day is less than a month away and some singles might be anticipating the loneliness and ‘loserness’ that society pressures us to feel. So how do you find love?

New York Times has an article about match making agencies using algorithms to help decide the best partners.

People aren’t so good at picking their own mates online.

“They think they know what they want,” Dr. Finkel said. “But meeting somebody who possesses the characteristics they claim are so important is much less inspiring than they would have predicted.”

The new matchmakers may or may not have the right formula. But their computers at least know better than to give you what you want.

Which reminds of a quote by Oscar Wilde.

When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.

Maybe my Indian colleagues are onto something with their arranged marriages.

Anyway, if you insist on looking for love, check out this site - Hitchoo.

Have you ever wondered about the sequence of events which occur when you withdraw money from an ATM? I have. Why is it that the machine insists that you take your card first before spitting out the money?

I was thinking about this in the morning. The reason that I have is that some consultant probably told the people implementing the ATMs that if the money was given out first, people would tend to take the money and forget the card which would be ejected later.

The underlying principle here is that people won’t forget the ends (i.e. the money) but will forget the means (i.e. the card).

And then my mind wandered off and started thinking about parents. I’m not sure if it is common in most relationships, be it between a parent and child or two lovers, where whenever one party wants something from the other, the party desiring something will express some mix of affection, attention, affirmation towards the other party where the degree of expression is higher than when nothing is desired.

Basically, do people commonly say ‘I Love You’ followed by ‘Can I Have The Latest ___’.

With reference to the question concerning ATMs above, do people also have the same propensity to quickly forget those who have provided the means to achieve the ends they want.

How then can we make sure the provider isn’t forgotten?

More importantly how do we prevent the provider for being faulted when the means to achieve the ends we desire can no longer be given.

Chapter 16 of ‘The Prince’ by Machiavelli might provide the answer:

Concerning Liberality And Meanness

(via shakewellbeforeuse) a player proposed to his girlfriend in Halo 3 using weapons to spell out the question.

Reminds me of this strip by Ctrl+Alt+Del:

This guy is really good. Very insightful strips.