Merry Christmas, I Think
A couple of minutes ago, Christmas ended. It felt like a non-event.
Slightly more than 24 hours earlier, the Christmas celebrations started with a dinner with the girlfriend’s friends. Is it a problem that after all these years, it is still my friends and her friends instead of our friends? It is almost like we are preparing for a separation.
That’s your book. Ok, this is my CD. Yup, you can keep the dog. Ok, these are my friends. You can keep Jane. I’m glad to be rid of her.
Christmas eve dinner with friends followed by watching 2012.
When did that happen?
What happened to the drunken night of debauchery with nubile virgins stuck in a manger?
When did I give up excess for a night of nothing?
Christmas morning started lazy and painless enough. No throbbing headaches. No pressure to rush off to church to thank God for sending his beloved son to die for us so that our sins might be forgiven only if we accept his generous mercy, repent, and accept him as the awesome creator of this fine world we live in. Talk about no conditions.
Then I got a call from my Project Manager, “we have a severity one issue with the production system.”
Immediately my heart goes out to my wallet, sorry for the bonus it will never get to see. I had to rush down to the office to get something fixed. There goes my Christmas, totally lost to work.
And I was happy.
I was happy because now the day had purpose. I was going to be fixing something rather than spending time with the girlfriend at home doing nothing.
I was happy because now the day had purpose. Instead of praising an absentee God for a son whose work I never got to see nor will ever see, I was actually spending the day doing something which would produce a tangible effect.
Then what’s wrong?
Why am I feeling something is missing?
And why am I remembering what happened 10 years ago – the staying over at a friend’s place (vaguely remembering this was after watching ‘American Pie’) followed by the rushing to church to perform in a play for the morning’s service.
Something is missing and I think I’ve to go find it.
