Ian On The Red Dot

Seriously, is it any shock that Tiger Woods fucked a bunch of other women other than his wife?

He is one of the richest, if not the richest athlete, ever. Give any man fame, power and money, let’s see if his head won’t turn*.

All this moral pontificating in the media. Fucking full of shit.

If Tiger Woods had suffered a career-ending injury and for some reason lost all his wealth, do you think this lady would have stayed around? She would have made for the exit faster than a certain former US President can unzip his pants in front of hot interns.

*Sidenote:

Yeah, I’m sure someone will say that there is this X guy who is famous, powerful and has lots of money who doesn’t/didn’t cheat on his partner. One of these below statements will be true:

1. He has been brought up with a weak conscience. One that gets guilty easily.

Internal monologue for most of these men:

“Oh, no, if I cheat on my wife, I’LL be SUCH A BAD PERSON.“

Notice the operative noun. It is self-centeredness, just expressed internally, instead of externally in the form of banging another girl.

But, wait, you say, some of these internal monologues have this line:

“If I cheat on my wife, if she finds out, she will be hurt.

“If she finds out…” The guy should only get any form of credit if the sentence was just “If I cheat on my wife, she will be hurt.”

Usually the above sentence is followed by,

“I can’t afford to lose her. She means so much to me.”

or

“If I cheat on her, I’ll be letting myself down, because I’ve failed the standards and morals I hold dear.

Again, it is about the self.

Always, about the self. It is just that people have different conditions on what hurts the self more. Depriving the little brother one night snuggled in a different hole, or …

2. His wife is the best thing his fame, power and money can buy, maybe even better than what he should be able to get. It is a ‘character’ play and the woman accepts him because of his ‘faithfulness’ and ‘love’.

Why do you think David Beckham only started cheating later in his career and marriage? Well, that’s because that was when he superseded Victoria of Spice Girls fame.

3. He hasn’t been caught.

**

You know what’s even more fucking amazing. Everyone is talking about how this ’scandal’ will affect his golf game, how it will affect his sponsorships. How it will affect the REALLY IMPORTANT things.

Yup, we sure have our priorities straight.

Ok. I need to get this out of my system. I have been rushing the completion of as much work as possible before I go for my reservist in-camp training tomorrow. For the next 3 weeks, I will be paying the price of being born a male in the glorious nation of Singapore. I’m rushing work that needs to be completed days in the future, work which was ‘ordered’ only days before because I won’t be around in the weeks ahead.

I applied for deferment and it was rejected. The reason ‘work commitments’ was deemed invalid because the company had time to prepare for my period away at training. How were they to prepare for it? Duplicate another resource to the team so that two people will have the same knowledge of a system build up over 1.5 years of working so that the other person can cover me when I am away for 3 weeks. Seriously? You think every company has the same sort of redundancy built into the gloriously competent SAF?

Ask the company to withhold promoting me to a higher level of responsibility and instead pass it to another individual so there will be no gap when I’m away at in-camp training?

Now, I have always maintained National Service was important and have made it a point to go back for every single training. Even training I had to go because SAF lost the records of my previous training. Yes. The SAF made me go back to do something I already did because their clerks were so ‘meticulous’ in their processing of paperwork.

I didn’t need to do any RT. I’m saying it now. I could have failed my IPPT to kingdom comes and wouldn’t need to do a single second of RT but I called up the people responsible for maintaining the RT system and told them they missed me from their records. I eventually learned the reason why I was missed and it was another ’shining’ example of how the SAF administration works.

When I had fever, I still took the ATEC 1 tests because there was no other person to replace me in my section. Yes, so little people went back during the last training that we had a shortage of personnel that shuffling men around couldn’t even help.

I’m not saying I have been the best solider. What I’m saying is that as much as possible, I have done what was asked of me. I haven’t made it a point to go out of my way to skip training. I haven’t ‘eat snake’ during NS and reservist trainings.

I was hoping if the day comes when my outside civilian life might be impacted by training, that the people in charge would honor the implicit bargain I thought was made – I will give my best whenever I can, and you don’t fuck around with the civilian life that actually really matters.

I’m not saying that training doesn’t matter. It does. But at the end of the day, it should be recognized that some training is good to have and some is just plain wayang. I can say for the 3 weeks back in camp, I’ll probably be rushing to wait, waiting to rush most of the time, just like every other time.

On another note:

I could have applied for partial deferment and on hindsight, I am wondering if I should have. I’ll go back to camp and discuss with my superiors. The way I see it, only 1 week is really crucial during this training.

The problem with our reservist system is that a lot of the officers we have aren’t the ones we trained and lived with for the better part of 2.5 years we did NS. What it means is that there is no way for the officers to know if an individual is making a genuine request for deferment because he believes that he can’t afford the time for training or he is just trying to ‘eat snake’/malinger. If it was my old officer from NS, I am pretty sure he would know I wouldn’t have made the request unless I was sure I needed the deferment.

In this sense, I understand the difficulty for them in granting deferments to the non-hardcore cases. The hardcore cases who are out just to avoid training would berate them with requests until it is much easier for the officers to just grant the request or these hardcore malingerers would just report ’sick’.

The irony is that the new officers demand the same loyalty from us when they themselves are unable to show the same sort of loyalty. It is no one’s fault. Both parties don’t know each other. But by virtual of rank, they can ‘force’ that loyalty.

On a final note:

I hate how patronizing foreigners and women are when I share about how much a disruption NS is. Fuck you, you understand. Don’t give me the platitude ‘I am serving my nation’ and shouldn’t complain. And while we (those who serve NS) might joke that it is free chalet with free food and exercise, we jest because we recognize what a major inconvenience reservist is and its symbolism of how much the state owns the males in Singapore (which is a lot). You (i.e. foreigners and women) don’t get the right to make snide comments about how lucky we are to have a holiday and do not need to work.

While we may be communing with nature, reservist isn’t a walk in the park.

On a final final note:

I once talked to a bunch of older guys about their reservist liabilities and it seems that their take on it is slightly different from mine. They actually looked forward to reservist training.

I think the difference arises because the SAF is now rushing us through our cycles. The higher-ups from SAF say it is to help us finish our liabilities earlier, but I believe it is really just to help the SAF save cost. When I have to do reservist training when I am in university, you don’t have to pay much for salary. So a cycle that starts when an individual is 25 and ends late in his thirties is much more expensive than the cycle which starts when an individual is 22.

Anyway, the reason why those older dudes looked forward to reservist:

1. No need to listen to wife nag.
2. No need to send kids to school early in the morning.
3. Can tell wife he is outfield and then go out with his army buddies.

Sometimes the gf can make you unbearably mad. You get angry and you keep pushing against the gf, assaulting her with words and gestures. The scene devolves.

The five stages of a fight with the girlfriend:

1. The girlfriend is shocked.

2. The girlfriend is sad.

3. The girlfriend is frustrated.

4. The girlfriend is angry.

5. The girlfriend is indifferent.

The smart guy, usually sprinkled with a generous dose of callousness, knows how to keep the girl at stage 3, with the occasional shift in emotion to 2 or 4.

If you are a guy, never, ever push your girlfriend to stage 5. If not, you will be like Dan (i.e. Jude Law’s character in Closer) who returns to the room to find that Alice (i.e. Natalie Portman’s character) has stopped loving him.

Further notes:

Closer has, for some time, been my favorite movie about love. Excellent commentary about the movie over at IMDB.

An excerpt:

Marber seems to be preoccupied with the way a slighted lover will beg or even demand to know every excruciating detail about their lover’s infidelity. This inexplicable and seemingly masochistic phenomenon pervades Closer on both a literal and thematic level, because Marber has a very simple and universal idea to present. This need to hear these painful truths is the thesis of Closer. What we’re soon able to see through the weaving of the characters’ relationships is that this desire is a manifestation of any lover’s need to possess his or her beloved. The victim of an infidelity grapples not just with the pain of betrayal but also with the inescapable knowledge of a most intimate element of their lover that will never, ever be theirs. In the same way that a man might find himself unable to live with the knowledge of his girlfriend’s past sexual encounters (a la Chasing Amy), the cheated-on man or woman has to confront their pain, however irrational, for being unable to think of every element of their partner as their own.

Closer revolves around this theme. On the one hand, it does this through the literal story of a man wanting to know the details of how and where and with whom his wife cheated on him, vainly trying to take back those intimate moments and claim them as his own. On the other hand, however, Closer uses this theme in a much more general way. A man may grasp at the lustful experiences of his wife, trying to reverse his exclusion from them, but the way that grasping is employed in Closer shows us that even if it weren’t for the infidelity, he would be grasping anyway. We all would. Our need to feel we have complete possession of our lover is what drives us to desperately dig deeper and deeper, trying to gain some secret knowledge of who and what they are at their most pure and uncompromised level.

In the end, however, this level doesn’t exist. The digging, the struggling and the grasping is futile as no person can be reduced to a singular truth. We are an entirely different thing, practically a different animal, from moment to moment. As Natalie Portman’s character so perfectly illustrates by the end, even the most mundane details about who we are can turn out to be transitory or meaningless.

From 25% of my perfect woman on 5th May 2004:

Hope there is… Hope, there is always hope.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.

This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.

This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it.

This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.

This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’e nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.”

Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!).

But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.

For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

If you know that you’re right but would like some proof for your gf who never wants to apologize, this site is for you. If you are a gf who knows that it is always the bf’s fault but want further confirmation, this site is for you.

Fighting with your significant other? Who’s right and who’s wrong? Air it out anonymously while letting people of the world give you advice and make the decision on who should apologize.

Judge Judy has just come to the Web 2.0 world with some wisdom of the crowds sprinkled in. SideTaker is going to be my new guilty pleasure.

Damn Spoil Market.

via: ntt

After reading this post, I conclude that Lady Melissa is awesome.

Peasantboys are also wimps – they let peasantgirls walk all over them. They act as their chauffer, their ATM machine and chaperone all rolled into one. Yet, in another ironic twist, they are also male chauvinists, hanging on to anachronistic notions of submissve virginal women who would do as they are told and go off looking for Vietnamese village brides when they don’t get what they want here. A message for you peasantboys: most women would love to defer to their men, but strong men who know what they want, who have strength of character. We are not going to submit ourselves to wimpy mummy’s boys.

OUCH!

If you want to be treated as an equal – behave like an equal. Don’t expect your man to pay for everything and not even thank them for it. Go dutch sometimes. Take a taxi to the place that you are going to meet your peasantboy and not expect to be driven around like an invalid all the time. If you want to be an equal in marriage, contribute equally to the family accounts – in what world do you think it’s fair that you get to spend your husband’s money whilst keeping your salary for yourselves?

On the other hand, if you want to be treated like an Eastern Woman, for the husband to take care of you financially, materially, drive you around, do things for you then be prepared to take on the obligations of an Eastern Woman. Go learn how to cook – and not just instant noodels and fried eggs. Learn how to sew. Defer to your husband as the head of the household, and learn how to care for him as the primary caregiver (whilst he is the primary breadwinner).

OUCH!

If I ever have my own company or if I get tasked to hire anyone for a company, I’ll never hire a pretty gal to work for the company. I share my current office space with another company and there are quite a few cute girls on this floor. Everyday, I see a bunch of guys from other floors come down to chat with these gals. I think damn a lot of productive time is lost.

Updated: Of course, writing this post just wasted a little bit of time.

Updated 2:My colleague just shared that these gals could raise the morale of the guys, hence making them more productive.

Guys are really easy to understand. The great Ctrl + Alt + Del has been explaining it for years:

We like beer:

We like boobs:

You can make us do anything with boobs:

We like games (especially those with boobs):

And we like food:

If you enjoyed these examples, please go to the main site to check out more.

Going to fire a quick one before I start the day. Today is going to be busy what with SIT coming up. Anyway, I just want to say a quick thing about men not getting it. It is oft lamented by Singaporean women that Singapore men just don’t get it, or more specifically don’t understand them.

When is this comment usually made? When a man fails to meet the expectations of the woman. Are the expectations always unreasonable? I wouldn’t know. But from my experience with Singapore gals, I think Singaporean women have a tendency to have rather high (and unreasonable) expectations. I won’t talk about these expectations here today.

Now, why would women want men to get it? If the reason is so that their expectations can be made, then they are dumb.

Why?

Cos once a man gets a women, he is never going to meet those expectations.

He is going to manage it.

And when a man goes into manage expectations mode, more often than not he plays the gal like a fiddle.

Think about it. Who are the players?

The only way a man can be a player is if he gets women.

Now, you might say, why can’t a man get women and not be a player. Many reasons. But one reason I wager is that once a man gets women, he realizes women aren’t just worth it. Or rather, he realizes that it just ain’t worth it to meet all the expectations of a women just so his own needs can be met.

Yes. Men don’t just live for women. We live for ourselves too. A lot of time our interactions with women is to meet our own needs. Actually, let’s say all the time.

We (man included) like to believe that there is someone who will dedicate and devote their lives to us. We are selfish like that. And stupid like that.

So women, be glad that there are men who don’t get it. Doesn’t mean we won’t be earnest in meeting your expectations. Doesn’t mean we won’t try to be everything you want us to be.

Just don’t lament we don’t get it.

You honestly won’t like it once every man gets it.

Update:Of course, women might say that there are men who really don’t get it. You know what…if you are dating such a man. Loving such a man. Wanting him to change. Accommodating him till he changes. Guess what. He actually gets it. You don’t.