Ian On The Red Dot

Redheads are awesome.

Meet Amelia Jessica “Amy” Pond, new companion of the Doctor.

Was undecided on what to have for lunch today when I decided to watch the latest South Park episode over at South Park Studios.

S14E03:

Cartman’s favorite restaurant has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medicinal marijuana. Randy is desperate to get a prescription card to buy pot and Cartman will do anything to get his beloved fried chicken back.

A few minutes into the episode, I paused the video, changed and walked to the nearest KFC outlet.

This was my lunch:

Uploaded with plasq’s Skitch!

Almost like a pimp warning parents about the dangers of teenage sex, well, because young boys shouldn’t be having sex with teenage girls but with the pimp’s whores, New Paper, Singapore’s paragon of journalistic endeavors devoted about 3 pages on Clicknetwork.tv’s scandalicious babes last weekend for their Sunday edition (at least I think it was Sunday).

The articles online:

Even the way they talk seems slutty: Mum of 3
Can’t figure out ‘For-bees’ (Forbes) magazine
Too smut for their own good?
It’s not everyone’s cup of tea

I have only heartfelt gratitude to TNP for sharing the assets of these ladies, brightening up my gloomy Sunday morning.

The thing that really interests me is that beyond all the faux moral & intellectual outrage about the quality and content of these shows, if you study Clicknetwork.tv as an online video network, you’ll see the company is doing a pretty good job with their site. Let’s compare their site with another favorite of mine – Razor.tv.

Warning: Long post.

Down the rabbit hole

Razor.tv’s main page:

The first two things you notice:

1. Latest Video or at least to me, hey, random video. Might not be relevant to me at all, but who cares!
2. Most recent videos. Again. Just pulled from the top of the pile with no relevance to me at all.

Lower down the page, you see the latest episodes from their different channels.

Here you notice how Razor.tv is stuck in a certain stone age. Or least in the age where video killed the radio star. Channels. Channels. Channels. Instead of focusing on shows. Sure, you see a horizontal line of banners promoting some of the series like ‘The Elite Challenge’ but it is clear they are still very channel-centric.

What do I mean?

Let’s look at the ‘Current Affairs’ channel:

Did you know that there are many segments for this channel? One of them is ‘Ground Zero’ which isn’t highlighted in the sidebar of the above page.

Trying to navigate around the main current affairs page to find a segment you like is almost like trying to find the mythical g-spot.

Clicknetwork.tv’s main page:

I confess. I’m bias. The whole site just looks nicer. What I also really like is how the site doesn’t just bombard me with a random video that just so happens to be the most recent one. Sure, they do emphasize the most recent videos, but at the same eye level, I can easily navigate to find the most viewed this month, the most viewed of all time (at least since the inception of the network) and the most discussed.

Above the fold

To see the most commented and most popular videos on Razor.tv, you would have to scroll down a little bit more on an average screen. Does this matter a lot? Maybe not for everyone, but it sure helps the experience to be able to see all these navigation tools for videos based on stats at the same horizontal level.

Back to channels

Clicknetwork.tv emphasis is on their shows. Sure, they do group the shows into categories (i.e. channels) but it is always about the show. On the main page, descriptions for the shows are given.

Look at Razor.tv, do you get the sense from the main page that they have any sort of regular shows? Do you get the sense which link you click will lead you to a regular show? How about what each series is about? Any descriptions?

Before talking about two series on Razor.tv, let’s compliment Clicknetwork.tv for giving the web surfer decent descriptions of each of their series on the main page.

From the main page, I know that,

Bored in Bikinis is about:

What happens when 2 bikini babes get bored? A lot of random frivolous nonsense. Featuring Sonia and Xue Sha from ‘S Factor’.

Numbnuts is about:

Hutch and Mike face-off in crazy challenges where the loser suffers a shitty penalty.

I already feel safe clicking the links. I know I won’t be entering a dark room where I’ll be clobbered on the back, stuffed into a sack and brought to a shallow grave.

How about Razor.tv? Let’s look at two series ‘The Elite Challenge’ & ‘A Starry Night’. I know that ‘A Starry Night’ is Singapore’s first subway drama. Ok. First. In. Something. Got to be good right. But what the fuck is the show about. People trapped in a subway? People who like to eat sandwiches at night?

How about ‘The Elite Challenge’? Something to do with our Civil Defense Force. But what about?

Now, let’s look at the respective pages for these two series:

The Elite Challenge:

I still don’t know what the show is about. And of all places, this is the place to emphasize the latest video, by, you know, putting a video player at the prime location. What do you get instead? Choices. Choose which video you want to watch. WTF. Seriously. I’m already here. What do you think I want to watch? Make a guess. Maybe the latest episode.

A Starry Night:

Now you tell me what this whole show is about. Instead, of you know, showing the latest episode. Think about it. How am I supposed to know I want to come to this channel if I only get information about this channel on this channel? Genius.

‘Chick versus Dick’ on Clicknetwork.tv:

We already told you what this show is all about, on the main page, so since you’re here. Let’s get down to business. Shall we? Ta-Dah! The latest episode. And the individual page for each of their shows – Classy. With the effort invested, you would have thought these shows were on prime-time TV.

Breaking Up of Episodes:

Look, quality content is quality content. If I love it, I’ll watch it. Till the end. To possibly try to inflate views and clinks, Razor.tv has broken up individual episodes in clip.1, clip.2, clip.3 … What the hell? Do they think they are releasing software? Episode 1 is Episode 1. Let me watch the whole episode on 1 page.

Clicknetwork.tv respects the viewer. Sure, who doesn’t want more clicks. More views. But there is the right way to do it, and then there is the Razor.tv way of doing it.

And you made it to the end, so, boobies for you!

Disclosure: I know someone who knows someone that works for Clicknetwork.tv. That someone I know has bought me a bottle of beer. This post was not written under the influence of that bottle of beer.

Ride into this world
All alone
God takes your soul
You’re on your own.
The crow flies straight
A perfect line
On the devil’s back
Until you die.
Gotta look this life in the eye.

Trying to catchup on some quality television before the new seasons begin again. AMC’s ‘Breaking Bad’ is the story of a chemist teacher who discovers he has cancer and his metamorphosis from a zombie waiting to return to the grave to (maybe) Scarface. Like Dexter, Walter White isn’t an easy person to be rooting for.

While as a male who is (hopefully) coming of age and beginning a phase in my life where new responsibilities must be shouldered, with the big 30 coming up when one starts questioning where his life has been and will be going, and recognizing I’m hitting a horizon where potential is becoming failed potential, this show hits me in a existentialistic gut-wrenching way.

On another note, totally enjoy reading the reviews of Alan and comments over at his blog (which is a great compendium to quite a couple of television shows). Undercover Asian Man is probably one of the most insightful commentators (among many) over at Alan’s blog.

Alan:

Now we have a much stronger idea of how Walt went from Nobel Prize-winning team member to bitter high school teacher: his girlfriend (or, at least, the woman he loved) married his partner, and Walt (impulsive, resentful and grudge-holding as we know he can be) no doubt quit the company rather than have to suffer through this perceived humiliation every day.

and Walt and Hank’s conversation about where to draw the line on drug laws. Hank’s been a good comic relief character, but this is the first time he felt like more than a clown.

Although what’s interesting about season one was the way it set you up to sympathize with Walt, and then slowly but surely told you the reasons why maybe you shouldn’t. You find out that he was the one who sabotaged his own career, for instance. You see Walt turn down his ex-partner’s guilt-driven offer to pay for Walt’s medical treatments, take care of his family, etc., all because his stubborn pride won’t allow him to take it.

Walt doesn’t need to be in business with someone like Tuco. He chose to do it. He’s had chances to walk away and he hasn’t taken them. And that’s what’s so fascinating about “Breaking Bad” — that it keeps subverting my expectations for and opinions about the main character.

Undercover Asian Man:

It is the failing love story between Walter and Skyler that makes me ache the most. The first season established that Skyler, throughout the crushing money problems, never stopped loving Walter and supporting him, never blamed him for anything missing in their lives, and was willing to sacrifice even more just on the wishful chance of having the best oncology doctor caring for her husband. Money truly does not mean anything to Skyler compared to her family, something said in real life more often than actually meant, but so strongly portrayed in the first season as to be totally believed in the White family. Now money – Walter’s relentless and reckless pursuit of it – has made Skylar feel as abandoned and lonely as possible, and the real tragedy is that she doesn’t even know that the money she never prized in her life is now ruining her last remaining days with her husband and is driving them apart. Her psychotic sister and her well-meaning but emotionally narrow brother-in-law show convincingly this episode what Skylar has in her future for family and support without Walt in her life. That she must live that loneliness now, even while Walt is still present and sharing her bed, is such a powerful display of the cost of “easy money” and the unilateral choices Walt makes, and shows how Walt might be assaulting Skyler psychologically as cruelly and as selfishly as he did to her body in the kitchen.

Yet through it all, we clearly see the humanity in Walt, and reasons why is doing this. It is not at all lost on him what his current acts are costing him, what it has already extracted from his soul with each new death that occurs around him and even by his own hand. While there are some beneficial side effects like an increased libido and an occasional surge of macho energy, Walt’s path into drug dealing is clearly motivated only by love for his family and the finality of a legacy as being the sole provider for the White clan, to be remembered as the one who guaranteed the Whites’ futures.

Other comments:

I don’t think Pinkman’s sudden perfectionism has as much to do with Walt as much as it is about himself. Between last week with his family and this week with the realty office, he has come to realize that the rest of the world sees him as worthless. He is a screw up that can have no greater function than to be a signpost in a dollar bill costume. So he goes back to meth (a trade he didn’t want to continue in) because it is the only thing he has ever been at all good at. And, for the first time, he realizes that “almost” isn’t good enough. It isn’t about the meth or the customers. It is about what HE can do.

Walt didn’t turn the money down the first time out of spite or pride. I think he genuinely didn’t want to go through all of that for a few extra months, or even a year or two. He wanted to enjoy the little pleausres in his life, even if that meant shortening it.

But then he realized that all of those little pleasures, the glass of wine, the good meal, having his hair, were nothing in comparison to the pleasure of his wife’s smell. And that is why he changed his mind.

When he turned the money down the second time, it wasn’t the same situation as the first. This time he was tunring down his ex, the girl who broke his heart and left him for his best friend. And with his new found backbone, he isn’t about to take charity from her. He’d rather go back to meth than owe her for his extra time.

As for Jesse learning about the beakers, was I the only one who saw the pilot? Pretty sure those were the exact same beakers that Walt named for him. In fact, at one point Weasel (or whatever his name was) screws something up and Jesse has to grab a stopper to put in one of the beakers; that is exactly the same thing that happened in the first episode. He learned about meth fast because it was something he gave a damn about learning.

As to the perfectionism, it wasn’t about the meth. It was about himself. If his drugs aren’t good enough, neither is he.

Sure you might say that pride led Walt to leave his partner and head off in his own direction. You might also say that going into work every day and working with the man who stole the love of his life is but a small price to pay in the pursuit of scientific glory. But when you think of that scene where he was adding up the chemical sum and total of all that is human, and if you felt that deep, almost visceral connection between Walt and Gretchen, you just might have the merest inkling of the profound sense of personal betrayal he must have felt.

Accepting his old partners offer would have not only meant placing himself directly into the maelstrom of conflicting emontions of a past life best long forgotten. It also would have meant surrendering the control he had finally learned to exert over his own life. He probably knew that he could do some great work by rejoining his own company, before he died. But he probably also knew that he last days of life would be his only by the grace of Judas.

Vince Gilligan:

We’ve all seen so many TV shows and movies over our lifetimes where the murder is kind of a given, and the aftermath is kind of clean and pain-free and kind of skipped over, and it’s on to the next plot point. There’s plenty of movies that follow that pattern that I love, but I, as a viewer have found my mind wandering and find myself thinking as I’m watching a crime movie, ‘How would you go about killing someone?’ The mechanics of it, or the minutiae of it, is oddly interesting to a lay-person, to a non-criminal, as is the minutiae of just about any interesting job. What’s it like to be a space shuttle pilot, a brain surgeon, a criminal? These are all interesting fields. Hopefully none of us aspire to be criminals, we instead aspire to be space shuttle astronauts. But the minutiae is interesting nonetheless.

Those kind of scenes are fun to write, because I think we idly wonder, from time to time, ‘If I had to commit the perfect crime, how would I pull it off?” Talking through it, A to B to C, step-by-step, is interesting to me personally, and I figured it might be interesting to an audience.

Sons of Anarchy, the gripping FX series with Shakespearean aspirations, returns for season 2 with a bang. Literally.

Spoilers ahead:

Continue Reading »

Apparently there are three unofficial rules regarding the show and the killer’s identity:

1. There can be only 1 killer.
2. There is at least 1 death in each episode.
3. The killer is from this list of 25 characters.

Scream introduced to the genre (or did it just popularized) the idea of two killers working in tandem. The idea of using multiple killers is useful in providing airtight alibis for suspects which throw the viewers off a scent especially when continuity issues become impossible to resolve satisfactorily.

The people from CBS responsible for the show seem to be insisting that there is only 1 killer. It could be just wordplay from desperate individuals who realized the game is up. After all, if everyone is sure they know who the killers are, then what’s the point of watching the show.

We said only 1 killer. We didn’t say he/she didn’t have a helper.

Since only Booth died in Episode 4, the ‘at least 1 death in each episode’ is the rule that’s keeping the theory that Booth faked his own death from gaining more credence.

If this series is truly drawing inspiration from ‘Scream’ and ‘And Then There Were None’, it would be a fair guess to say Henry Dunn or Jimmy is going to meet with an early ‘demise’ while trying to save either Trish or Abby. A little corn syrup might do the trick?

There is a fair amount of speculation on the forums that the killer might be a character that has not been introduced or hitherto been lurking in the background. Either of the above scenarios would be evidence of lazy storytelling by the writers with the former totally inexcusable while the latter just unfair to the viewers because of the differences between a crime series and a whodunit murder mystery.

The crime series focuses on the discovery and (hopeful) apprehension of the perpetrator(s) via a process of investigation, induction and deduction by the characters in the world we are privy to .

A whodunit murder mystery, which is how CBS is marketing ‘Harper’s Island’, is about understanding a complex puzzle and the unraveling of its mystery by the viewers via clues and red herrings scattered by the producers of the show in the show’s universe.

After 9 episodes there is faint suspicions that the people responsible for the show have been spreading disinformation about its premise and episode structure to confuse viewers. That would be outright cheating. Red herrings should only exist in the alternate universe.

In trying to narrow down the list of suspects, reliance on the show’s timeline is a flawed premise. The sequence of events we (the viewers) see may not be the same as that on Harper’s Island. We cannot say that Henry could not kill someone because he was with Trish in the previous scene a ‘couple of seconds’ ago because those couple of seconds do not correspond to a ‘couple of seconds’ in their world.

The disparity in time flow allows the possibility that some airtight alibis could be discounted. Yet it seems increasingly likely that the only conclusion on the killer’s identity in this 1 killer universe can only come from the unsatisfactory choices of Nikki or Maggie.

Some quick guesses after episode 9:

Wakefield had a child with Abby’s mom. That child is not Abby.

The Wakefield child with Abby’s mom is a guy unless the gender neutral word ‘child’ was used to make us over-think the possibility that Abby is Wakefield’s daughter.

The child is either Henry Dunn or Jimmy. I’m leaning towards Jimmy because of Abby’s mother’s discomfort with Abby and Jimmy’s camping trip yet it seems highly unlikely that Jimmy killed JD unless he killed JD before going to the inn to meet up with the rest, before joining up with Abby, before discovering Shane and the slain deputy and before going off to the cabin to rescue the sheriff. I wonder if it was possible for him to sneak a few arrows at Harkin with Abby by his side.

Notes:

This show could be borrowing a lot from ‘And Then There Were None’. If you haven’t read the book, I seriously recommend not clicking the link.

HARPER’S ISLAND is about a group of family and friends who travel to a secluded island off the coast of Seattle for a destination wedding. This island is famous for a streak of unsolved murders from seven years ago. Although they’ve come to laugh and to love, what they don’t know is they’ve also come… to die. As the wedding festivities begin, friendships are tested and secrets exposed as a murderer claims victims, one by one, transforming the wedding week of fun and celebration into a terrifying struggle for survival.

In every episode, someone is killed and every person is a suspect, from the wedding party to the island locals. By the end of the 13 episodes, all questions will be answered, the killer will be revealed and only a few will survive.

Emma Goldman on Anarchism:

Anarchism, then, really stands for the liberation of the human mind from the dominion of religion; the liberation of the human body from the dominion of property; liberation from the shackles and restraint of government. Anarchism stands for a social order based on the free grouping of individuals for the purpose of producing real social wealth; an order that will guarantee to every human being free access to the earth and full enjoyment of the necessities of life, according to individual desires, tastes, and inclinations.

I don’t care if a man’s theory for tomorrow is correct. I care if his spirit of today is correct.

On Capitalism:

The only demand that property recognizes is its own gluttonous appetite for greater wealth, because wealth means power; the power to subdue, to crush, to exploit, the power to enslave, to outrage, to degrade.

Apparently some folks are getting their knickers in a tangle over the latest kerfuffle started by MediaCorp’s super fail ‘Just For Laughs’ gag. If I was ever put in such a position as these actors, I would be pissed. Some online folks seem to show little sympathy for our thespians, saying that they should take things easy – like the celebrities who get Punk’d by Ashton Kutcher.

Seriously?

Singapore isn’t some place where there is a whole row of roles queuing, waiting for the right actor (or actress) to come along. It is, in fact, the other way around – a lot of people (who, in my awfully stereotypical-programmed mind) probably do not have regularly acting gigs struggling to make a career in show biz.

Let’s put it this way. If you were unemployed, have bills to pay, and time is precious, and you are given hope there might be a chance to score a role for a gig that will increment your bank account, and you find out that you wasted your whole day for a gag, being pissed is probably too nice a reaction from anyone.

Those who got ‘tricked’ should have gone all ‘Carrie’ on the people responsible.

The difference between the celebrities being Punk’d and MediaCorp’s victims is that those celebrities who Ashton Kutcher targets can afford losing 1 day of their life.

Haha, yeah, ok… you got me and I look like an idiot and everyone is going to laugh when they see me on TV, but guess what, I still got a couple of millions in my bank account, I’m still going to bang all the hot chicks, so yeah, haha, good one. I’m DEFINITELY THE LOSER here.

The poor people who got targeted by MediaCorp probably do not have that luxury.

Also, I have this feeling that Ashton Kutcher expends a significant amount of his social currency after each gag. Do you think anyone at MediaCorp cares? Do you think any of them have to care? They are anonymous behind a corporate project.

Job done. Move along now people, nothing to see here.

You know how this gag could have been done? Go to a school, tell the teachers there MediaCorp is auditioning for the role of a teacher in some new drama series. Tell the teachers that MediaCorp is scouting for raw talent and want some authenticity. Plan some elaborate gag which involves the teacher trying to be a ‘teacher’ but failing terribly. Or something.

The best gags help people break out of the monotony of daily life and gives the victim something to laugh about when confounded by the sheer surreality, incredulity and absurdity of the improbable situation that unfolded. The aforementioned gag by MediaCorp fails because all it does is inconveniences.

The story on asiaone:

A PRANK meant “Just For Laughs” by MediaCorp has provoked an online furore, with actors aghast at the broadcaster’s “disrespect” for them.

The incident started when they turned up for an audition at MediaCorp’s premises on Monday, only to become victims of a prank.

Actress Daphne Ong posted an account on her blog and Facebook profile.

According to her, a man repeatedly tried to give her a scare in a room she was taken to, but failed.

“He said, ‘Surprise! You’re on Just For Laughs!’ and pointed to a camera in one of the two-way mirrors (in the room),” she said.

As she had reacted calmly, the man asked her to “pretend” to be “really scared” in a second take and, in return for doing so, she would appear on “national TV”.

Worse, when she asked if she would be paid, the man promised her compensation of a “whopping $20″, she said.

In response to queries yesterday, MediaCorp told my paper that “all participants who are filmed must sign release forms giving consent. Otherwise, we will not use the footage”.

The gags were part of a collaboration with the Canadian award-winning comedy show, Just For Laughs, with an Asian take on the series.

The spokesman added: “Given the nature of the gag, this involves putting the participants through situations to gauge their reactions and evaluate their spontaneity.”

But it was not in good taste, actors said.

Actor Brendon Fernandez, whose friend was a victim, wrote on Facebook: “This was a deliberately concocted scheme to lure professional actors into a humiliating trap. The people who attended devoted their time and their skills in preparation for what they believed to be an audition for a role in a professional TV series.”

Mr Randall Tan, 35, an Artiste Management celebrity, said he was split “down the middle”, but added that he thought the gag was “uncalled for”.

“Auditions mean work and, if there is an opportunity, we will take it,” he said.

However, Mr Rabil Lian, 37, a production manager, felt differently.

“To be fair, this could be seen as a prank that fell flat. Celebrities overseas are also Punk’d and humiliated, but they know how to laugh it off,” he said.

Home-grown singer-actress Asha Edmund said that while the incident was a prank, the actors were “angry about something else”.

“Maybe (it is because) MediaCorp does treat actors with disrespect,” she said.

“Maybe it does tend to be a little obnoxious, and maybe its programmes are mediocre.”

But there are many opportunities for actors to voice their unhappiness over those issues, so they shouldn’t overreact to this prank, she said.

Help save Chuck! Join The Cause.

Chuck has become, after ‘Life’, the show I most enjoy. With a geek for the main character, intelligent scripts peppered with references that are a geek’s wet dream come true and what is possibly the best TV couple at the moment, Chuck is a show that probably deserves another season.