Ian On The Red Dot

I’ve always believed that everyone will eventually cheat (on their significant other). So I’m never surprised when I hear a story about cheating occurring. And I’ve been mentally preparing myself for the day it will happen to me. Cos it will. As it will happen to everyone else.

But does it really happen to you if you never find out? Would you want to find out?

My best friend thinks that it is best to fess up if you cheated. I disagree. You should only fess up if you get caught, so as to provide your significant other a form of closure. Cos once there is a hint of cheating, unless the truth is laid bare, the significant other is going to use his or her imagination to fill in the blanks. And the imagination is a vicious capricious master that delights in the torment that every new thought brings. Does he love her? Does she love him? Does he love him? What other messages did they send each other? Was she with him that night? Were they just fucking? Is it more than just mindless fucking? Is his dick bigger? Does he eat her pussy? Does she use the super-lick-on-his-balls-while-deep-throating-him move that she says she first tried on me? Fuck, did she learn the super-lick-on-my-balls-while-deep-throating-me move from him? Am I fooling myself that he loves me? Should we have gotten married earlier. Damn it, no wonder that kid looks white. Damn it, that $10,000 must have gone to that whore’s fake boobs.

Most people fess up because they can’t live with the guilt. They can’t bear to be the only one carrying the burden of betrayal. And to those people, I say fuck you. If you are man enough to stick your dick into another person’s hole, whichever one it might be, then you got to be man enough to carry the knowledge of betrayal all by yourself.

Now, if you get caught, that’s another matter. So don’t get caught.

Since everyone will eventually cheat, I think they should add this sentence to marriage vows and post-copulation sweet nothings.

I love you enough to never get caught.

Footnote:
Cheating isn’t a monolithic event that just occurs. It clearly exists on a spectrum. It comes in different forms. Some people will cheat physically. Some people will cheat emotionally. What you do isn’t cheating until your significant other finds it a form of betrayal. It is the betrayal the other feels that defines cheating.