On Friday, after TDM’s Blogout09, TDM-IDA hosted a dinner for a bunch of entrepreneurs at My Secret Garden. Howie and Daniel were kind enough to invite me to join them.
The dinner was a great chance to be acquainted with interesting entrepreneurs and partake in some engaging conversations. One conversation which really struck a chord arose from Yongfook sharing the reasoning process he was going through to consider Singapore as his next place of residence. A point was made that it was particularly interesting that foreigners were choosing Singapore as a place to stay while Singaporeans were desiring to leave the country.
I too have a particular yearning to leave Singapore to stay and work overseas.
The question is why?
I love Singapore and I know that I will always call this place my home. If I leave, I know I will return. My desire to leave the country has nothing to do with ill feelings about the country or the government or even the PAP. So why do I have this yearning that expands each day I remain on this little red dot till a void that is so expanse that even Moses could not cross forms within my soul. Why do some other Singaporeans feel the same thirst to travel, the same hunger to leave.
During the conversation, I offered an explanation – Singapore was too small. You must be thinking, “No shit Sherlock”. The size is only the cause. The effect of that size is that it allows few of us to change, it prevents us from escaping our friends.
Our friends. People who love us. People who have an idea of our identity. An identity that sometimes they hold onto more strongly than we do ourselves.
“I didn’t know you were into cooking.”
“You sure don’t look like the sort who will paint.”
“You sure you can go to the gym consistently. Think you will just stop like before.”
“Dancing? hahahah… You? hahahhaah…”
For inexplicable reasons, our friends trap us in a box. In a prison where they will shoot us down as we make for the fences that constrains us within a given identity. They have a painting of our identity and it isn’t cubist.
Singaporeans need to leave Singapore to grow. Away from the eyes of well-intentioned and kaypoh friends, we have a chance to change.
Like the ugly caterpillar that needs to crawl away and hide inside a cocoon, we need to leave Singapore, so that we can undergo the process of metamorphosis, to change into a butterfly.
Or as Bill would say, or at least I think that’s what he said, we need to go on our own heroic journey, our own personal odyssey. Here is a thought to our worrying government – Odysseus did not begin his journey with the fall of Troy. He began his journey when he left Ithaca – he left home and returned home.
For most of us, a wandering we must.
whitedusk | 10-Mar-09 at 8:57 am | Permalink
I don’t really think size matters. Even if you are living in Perth or Hong Kong, it’s highly likely that your activity area will not be wider than central Singapore.
It’s more of one’s desire to seek out new adventures and grow as a person. IMO venturing out is good. See more feel more. And if you love the little red dot that much then you will love it more.
btw, what’s with this exile to Sengkang thing all about?
clarkkent | 10-Mar-09 at 1:48 pm | Permalink
I agree with you and I wish that more singaporeans can experience the journey of growth when they venture abroad. I have some general comments:
1) most singaporeans I met when I am abroad are there not because they want to but usually due to job postings. Rarely do I see Singaporeans who proactively make an effort to seek opportunities abroad.
2) which lead me to my 2nd point. To seek opportunities abroad, we must be prepared to compete on local terms with local talents. The days of expatriate package are a thing in the past and increasingly very rare.
3) there are sacrifices to be made. for those who are married, it will even be harder. Children education can be expensive abroad, and most parents might be faced with the choice being separated from their loved ones.
4) it is important to embrace a new place with humility and with an open mind. Not only do you learn more, but I believe you can only grow once you learn to leave the rigid singaporean mindset behind.
Speaking from someone who has been abroad for 5 years, I regret not making the journey earlier in my career. I wish everyone who is willing to embark on this journey, all the best and good luck!
iantimothy | 11-Mar-09 at 1:07 am | Permalink
@whitedusk and @clarkkent – thanks for sharing your thoughts. I do think it is better to do it early. That’s what I hope for me. Got to plan and execute.
@whitedusk – how things over there? As brutal as over here? Good you still got your job.
The exile to Sengkang thing will be revealed in time. I hope. Just a little game I’m playing with my friends.
claudia | 11-Mar-09 at 2:51 am | Permalink
i want to get out of SG too! just so that i can experience life outside this little red dot before i settle down. but at my age now, just seem too late.
iantimothy | 11-Mar-09 at 8:32 am | Permalink
@claudia I think u still can…and oei! we same age leh… don’t say until we so old ….can one..must believe…it is never too late.
plus I think with the work you are doing, got chance you get invited overseas to speak.
clarkkent | 11-Mar-09 at 11:42 am | Permalink
to claudia.
if it helps, I left Singapore when I was 35. Leaving Singapore meant that I have to start everything from scratch. It was difficult but the rewards were great. My reasons were for leaving were very simple:
1) opportunities for singaporean above 40 are limited. If you have spent your entire lives being stuck in a job with no upward prospect, it can be scary if you are retrenched.
2) it allows you to start a new career curve and in a large market you extend your career by a further 15-20 years.
3) I see venturing abroad as not simply an adventure to broaden one’s perspective, but a necessity to remain viable in an increasingly global economy.
Just one caveat, be prepared to take a step back (pay or position) and work your way up. The lucky ones get posted by the companies, for the rest (like me), you create your own future. If you are committed and willing to make sacrifices, anything is possible.
jiinjoo | 13-Mar-09 at 2:33 pm | Permalink
great post.
you remind me of my very first days venturing out to singapore (from up north) and seeing how people strive to shed their high school identity and take up a totally new personality / ambition; and then me joining a bunch of singaporeans going to US, essentially doing the same thing, picking up american accent and signing up for various activities without blinking.
and yet when i’m here in town, i tend to fall into the same trap, asking questions like “so do you know if so-and-so is going to blogout? err… you asking who to come for your bbq?” sometimes with that fear of seeing that arc-nemesis that has been calling me names a decade ago, or even maybe the girl that didn’t along go so well once upon a time.
in other words, i think what is small is our minds and our hearts. by physically getting out of that circle of comfort, we hope to make our minds wider and our hearts bigger.
iantimothy | 14-Mar-09 at 1:10 am | Permalink
hey @jiinjoo, i love your last line.
“in other words, i think what is small is our minds and our hearts. by physically getting out of that circle of comfort, we hope to make our minds wider and our hearts bigger.”
Nice.
whitedusk | 18-Mar-09 at 4:54 pm | Permalink
Hi Ian,
Sorry I took so long to write again. Things are bad but I’ve still working so its not too bad. In fact I’m being kept really busy with projects all the time, maybe because the sales are not getting any action and they are looking to us (I.T.) for some action…
Not so lucky for some people in my company who got retrenched though.
If you want to start to explore overseas, do it when you get retrenched. We Singaporeans love to be forced, else we will fall back into our comfort zone. If you are in a stable job you will probably not risk the stability for a stint overseas~
Gee | 18-Mar-09 at 10:02 pm | Permalink
Ian, the answer is simple: an astonishing lack of cultural depth, without equal in Asia. Embrace of corporate values and corporate culture in place of anything endogenous. Shopping malls and shopping malls, they are the center of public life. A personality-bleaching, brain-washing educational system, shameless conformity and group-orientation. Values only money and face. Little interest or knowledge of anything outside the bounds prescribed by work and family. I am a foreigner here, so perhaps my view is as superficial as my words, but I will not stay here one day beyond what is necessary.
iantimothy | 29-Mar-09 at 3:20 pm | Permalink
@Gee – sorry took so long for your comment to be approved. Somehow, it ended up in the spam folder. My apologies.
Thanks for you comment. I think it helps us to see Singapore from another perspective – like from a foreigner’s. Singapore does have the problems you mentioned. Is it unique to Singapore? I’m not exactly sure. Problem is, the other spaces we have, the outliers, are just pockets now. Sadly, for a small country, such small pockets are easily misplaced.
Zizou | 31-Mar-09 at 7:35 am | Permalink
This post strikes a chord with me especially with regard to the reasons people leave Singapore. I am a student in a country with a significant Singaporean population and despite my general amicability towards my Singaporean mates, I have ambivalent feelings about our country itself.
I am sad and embarrassed at the closed-mindedness of quite a few of our compatriots who are unwilling to embrace humility and step beyond their comfort zones – preferring to mingle with their own and reaffirm their own perspectives. Quite a few of them will serve Singapore in the future … which troubles me.
Going further, living in a cosmopolitan and international city made me question my own sense of identity (and hence affinity) to the country. I have scarcely regarded myself as a politico, but I am rather put off by the lack of political openness and rights relative to the freedoms here, and the narrow, contrived mindsets compared to the wealth of perspective and expression here.
Lest I paint the picture in broad strokes, I also realized the way certain things are – that there are injustices and deficiencies everywhere, and that there are always trade-offs for everything.
Ultimately, going overseas has been the best investment in my cultural education – something Singapore cannot give.
And as a twenty-something bent on discovering the world, our country is too small a garden. Whether I return or not depends on the lessons I learn as I experience the world as it is.
Cheers guys.