Ian On The Red Dot

I have been following the recent spat between Xiaxue and Dawn Yang. I have been following the backlash against DY here, here and here. Even when I didn’t want to follow it, the Straits Times somehow saw it fit to cover this spat. This spat was one of the many reasons I decided to put a pet project on hold until I figured out how to do things different and better. But I digress.

I read the initial post by Xiaxue that triggered the recent saga. I’m not sure if everything Xiaxue said is true, it probably is, but was there a need for Xiaxue to say it. One of the reasons why I do love reading Xiaxue (it is one of my guilty pleasures) is that she is a no holds barred writer. She is the kind of person who doesn’t leave any injured in a fight, only dead bodies. And not just dead bodies, but dead bodies with squashed balls.

But the thing is, Xiaxue is no longer a street urchin. She has fought her way to the top. She is now royalty. She, is to me, the undisputed princess of Singapore blogging. I wanted to call her queen, but I realized she is too young to be a queen. Besides, if Mr Brown is the king, then the queen has to be around that age. But, as usual, I digress.

The thing about royalty, or rather, the thing about royalty to me, is that I think grace is something they should exhibit. After all, they are already in the upper echelon of society.

Xiaxue did not show grace when she wrote that post. She unleashed the dogs of war when, to be honest, it was an issue beneath her position. Maybe Xiaxue isn’t just any sort of princess. She is a warrior princess. Which could be true. But even Xena knew how to show grace and be merciful ( Damn it, I’m ashamed I even know that, but seriously, there was nothing good on TV at that time. A time of myth and legend..When the ancient gods were petty and cruel and plagued mankind with suffering …)

Anyway, so DY reacted in probably the worse possible way in Singapore society. She sued.

And the backlash occurred.

It is like a school yard fight where the unpopular kid has been knocked down. All the cowards around now rush in just to land a kick for the fucking awesome sensation of just causing hurt on someone else.

Here is the thing – so what if she has been lying about the plastic surgery she has had. So what if she has been saying things about other people behind their backs. Fine, it doesn’t say much about her character if all those dirt dig up is true but let’s take pause and think about some stuff.

Plastic surgery. What’s wrong with that? Frankly, I would like a girl to be natural, but in an age where we idolize beauty, do you not think it is funny we attack her for possibly having had surgery.

Of course, the righteous among us may say, well, we aren’t against surgery. We are against her hypocrisy for not admitting to it. OH COME ON! Some of the stars who did have surgery and admitted it are still being bitched about. I’ve seen the forums. Admitting it does not help stay the dogs.

Oh, but we are against her criticizing other celebs who have had surgery. Has anyone ever stopped to wonder that maybe that’s just her defense mechanism kicking in? Sure, it is a flawed defense mechanism but think about it. It isn’t nice to feel your back against a wall.

There was no way for DY to win or at least no way not to lose.

Yes, yes, Xiaxue did surgery and everyone seems to be fine with her for doing it because she is so open about it. SERIOUSLY? I’ve read stuff where people still do bitch about Xiaxue and that nose job and whatever shit they saw fit to bitch about.

The difference between DY and XX is that XX has thicker skin – metaphorically speaking of course.

There was no way for DY to win or at least no way not to lose.

We are all so quick to attack her as some sort of defense for those she has attacked. But are those individuals really that innocent? Just because they don’t blog about it doesn’t mean they didn’t attack first behind the scenes or aren’t any more vicious.

The thing is we don’t know.

But I do know this – human beings have always been cruel. ALWAYS. If there is anything that is consistent about us is that our capacity to be cruel is only matched by the infiniteness of space.

Let’s take pause.

Someone said this on one of the comments thread:

And add that AC guys allegedly described her as “Cover the face, bang the base”

Think about it. Sure, there are a lot of girls who have gone through life relatively unscathed because
they have managed to address esteem issues or whatever shit they might have. But not everyone is so lucky.

And wanting to be popular, hell, wanting just to fit in, is something almost all of us want. Some of us are lucky enough to find a group that eventually accepts us for who we are. Some of us may be unlucky and never find such a group.

And some of us are damned by God to be preyed upon when we search for a place to call home.

Let’s put it simply. Men are sharks. We can smell blood and know who to attack.

The truth is, at least to me, people who are against DY aren’t really against her because of some righteous cause to right her wrongs and protect those she has hurt.

No. We are against her because we are indignant for what she has because we think she doesn’t deserve it. But who are we to say that someone does not deserve whatever good fortune (or in this case bad fortune) they may have.

Even us. The ‘poor’ in Singapore. Do we deserve the relative good fortune to be born here?

The temerity of those who dare rise about their station. The audacity of those who don’t know their place. They belong either with us or at least not with them.

There are those who try to rise above whatever it seems destiny has given them.

Those below despise them. Those above mock them. They are ‘pretenders’.

And if anyone of you for a moment think Xiaxue is not being bitched about by the old rich, you don’t know humans. I’m sure some of them are.

Sure, you say, go on ahead and rise up. Just do it the right way. Just don’t deny your heritage, your past. Wait a minute. We all sound like we all have always been honest about our lives. Let’s face it. None of us ever have. We all tell ourselves our own version of our life stories. She just probably took it one step further.

Take using Photoshop to edit photos. It isn’t just bloggers who do it. Hell, even professional magazines do it. Because we all have some weird consciousness of the sort of lie we all want to believe in.

Now, I’m not saying DY is innocent or what…I think she has a self-righteous streak to her. Just like all of us. I’m saying we are all complicit. It is so easy to be self-righteous, to think ourselves better than someone. I do this, but I don’t do it until like her.

What arrogance we have.

I can’t remember which Chinese philosopher said it, but I vaguely remember a saying about virtue – the virtuous person is one that even after spreading a net to trap animals will leave at least one opening for them to escape. We are not doing that for DY to do so with any shred of dignity left.

In the end, Dawn Yang must die. If not her, then someone, to satisfy all of us.

In case you are wondering, the title is homage to this South Park episode. Below is a clip from that episode.

Anyway, I’m calling this on my blog. If we are all not careful, Singapore will very soon see the first blogosphere related suicide. I hope it never happens. But sadly, I think it will.

Updated: Some people might say DY doesn’t deserve mercy. Errr..That’s the whole point of mercy – giving kindness to someone who might not deserve it.