Ian On The Red Dot

I hesitated in writing this post like I told Daphne last night. But I decided to write it because I wanted to carry on the thread that Cobalt Paladin started regarding the healing process for Ping.sg.

I can’t say I love or care for Ping.sg at the level some of the other bloggers have expressed but this incident was relevant to me in a way. I want to share why it is relevant and I hope bloggers who are wondering if Ping.sg is a community worth being involved in will see that it is.

Sometime ago, I wrote what was deemed by some as a trouble-making post about Ping.sg here. I stand firm on the idea behind the post but I do admit I didn’t express my thoughts clearly enough and there have been other bloggers who have addressed what I was trying to say better.

One of the mistakes I made was conflating the words “elite” and “core” .

I still believe that every community will have a core group. The main differences between a core group and an elite group are these:

1. The elites only allow like-minded people into their circle.
2. The elites want to limit the number of people in their circle.
3. The elites look down on those not in the circle.

Ping.sg has a core group. They are the ones who organize stuff for all of us. They are the ones who talk more. They are the ones who help out on the shoutbox. They are the ones who think of ideas to gel the community.

But remember, core and elite aren’t two words that always go together.

Now…where am I going with this.

I understand why Daphne’s post stirred the reaction it did. Hell, I was about to pounce on it. See, I say got core group. I say got in group. I get slammed. Now, even the community manager say got. I win.

Then I thought about something that happened when I first joined plurk.

Daphne added me.

I know. This sounds trivial. But to me it wasn’t for a few reasons. She was the community manager of Ping.sg. I know for a fact that some members of Ping.sg thought I was only out to disrupt Ping.sg with my posts. I know for a fact that some of these members who are all about openness and engagement shut the door on my face when I tried to get to know them better.

Here is the thing. I perfectly understand the reactions of those other members. I didn’t exactly endear myself to them what with all the supposed shit stirring and criticisms.

The community manager didn’t ignore me when she could have.

For that matter, quite a few people I assumed would have just heck me didn’t.

I met a few of them at events. Talked to more of them online. Visited even more of their blogs and left comments on their blogs. Some left comments on mine.

Never once did I feel out. I had the power to choose how much I wanted to participate and at each level, it was fun and like part of something nice.

*** GROUP HUG ****

I’m being self-indulgent here. But bear with me a little more.

We don’t just know a person from the words they write. We don’t just know people from the words they speak. We don’t just know a person from their actions.

We know a person based on the sum of everything.

I have never met Daphne. We are at best online acquaintances now.

I can’t say I know her character. She might be mean. She might be nice. She might be a little of both.

What I do know is this, while I do believe words have power, we need to understand those words in the context of everything we know about the person who spoke or wrote it.

I guess that’s why I didn’t pounce on the post. Some people say there is only one way to interpret what she wrote. I beg to differ.

I beg to differ because of my little interactions with her. I took the words differently.

Some people would like to say Daphne ruined Ping.sg. I don’t think she did. I don’t think DK did either.

We all did. I know I am guilty.

Those who couldn’t resist watching the train-wreck. We kept ponging the entries concerning this issue to the top. Those who left comments. Those who kept commenting without the intention of making things better. Those who did have the intention to make things better but commented without restraint.

If you think our constant visiting of Dk’s blog and the comments some of us left didn’t egg him on to write those posts, some of which he has to live with in possible regret, I think you are foolish.

Sometimes we forget that blogs aren’t the only way to communicate. I feel a lot of us who blog regularly forget that sometimes we can just step out into the real world and talk.

Face to face. No need to assume tone. No need to second guess words on a screen.

So, yeah, I am ending this post with this.

Different, but equal. Equal but have different roles and participation level. Nothing is stopping us from changing our roles and participation level.

We are all in. At least that is how I feel.

We are all part of Ping.sg.

I understand that not everyone has the benefit of knowing Daphne or DK personally or have the benefit of interacting with them regularly online if at all so the only recourse is to judge them based on the words on their blogs.

Please don’t.

And please don’t give up on Ping.sg. Let’s build something better together.