Ian On The Red Dot

Hello everyone. I need help with something. If you are a parent with kids or a football crazy dude/gal then you might be the one to help me.

Ok. So what sort of help do I need?

I need answers to two questions.

1. Do any of you know of football training schools for kids?

The school can be public, private, semi-government funded. I need to know if anyone knows of such schools, where I can possibly get the details and if you know anyone training at such schools.

2. Do you know of any place where kids regularly gather to play football?

Ok. In Singapore, this seems like a rather stupid question because we can find kids playing football almost anywhere. Do you know of any place which is the focal point for football in your HDB estate? An example of such a possible place could be the street soccer court on the hill at Telok Blangah.

Really need some help here. So if you do have any information, please do share. Thanks. Also, if you do leave a comment, may I also email you further. Thanks.

Via metafilter, discovered these two videos which really taught me a lot about the Fifth Amendment and the Miranda warning.

Learned of this project called “The Innocence Project“.

The Innocence Project’s groundbreaking use of DNA technology to free innocent people has provided irrefutable proof that wrongful convictions are not isolated or rare events but instead arise from systemic defects.

I wonder…. How many people have been falsely convicted in Singapore. Do these individuals have any sort of recourse to right the wrongs done against them? Do we have such rights as stated in the video?

Anyway, back to the videos. I was wondering about what we write on our blogs as well as the information we sprinkle all across the different online services and whether we will ever see a case where the stuff we put online is used as evidence against us.

I’m not talking about a racist writing a seditious blog post. I’m talking about twittering an innocuous message at 10.15am saying that you are at Raffles MRT waiting for a friend and that is used as evidence that you were around the vicinity of a certain crime.

Or you write a Wall Post talking about how much you hate someone and then something happens to that someone. Motive?

I wonder….

We don’t exactly put everything online. And when we do, it isn’t always the truth – there are times when there are embellishments to the story we tell. What is truth anyway? Is it what actually happened or the way we remembered what happened?

Hmmm… Just saying that our online bread crumbs might lead people down the wrong path about who we really are.

I wonder if one day it can be used against us in court.

A reader left a comment (quoted below) after my last post about not canceling our National Day Parade. I disagree with the people who say that only authoritarian and semi-authoritarian states have parades like ours. His comment:

Just a bit of trivia. The only other countries that have “National Day Celebrations” like ours is North Korea and China.

No other democratic, first-world country does it.

xizor2000:
What is the point of a flypast and all that military display? Are we a communist nation like… North Korea?

Two links to help you realize that maybe we shouldn’t be so hung up on our Parade and use it as a marker of how undemocratic, not first-world our country is.

America’s National Independence Day Parade

France’s – Bastille Day Military parade

I have never actually seen any of those parades. What I know is from what I’ve read and the photos I’ve seen. To be honest, they don’t look much difference. There is parade and there is military display – two things that seem to be held against Singapore.

Of course we can always argue about how a certain political party seems to take center-stage and I think there might be fair criticisms against that. If you tell me the marker is that in each of these countries mentioned, the ruling party and leaders take center-stage in the National Day celebrations then I would be willing to concede that it could be a hallmark of authoritarian and semi-authoritarian states.

Yet, I wonder. I do not think it would be too presumptuous to say that the government, leaders and the monarchy of other countries, even the democratic ones, do get certain amount of spotlight during their respective nation’s National Day and its celebrations.

To a certain extent, it is really same difference.

I read this post by xizor2000 about canceling NDP and I cannot help but think it is way off the mark. We should not cancel nor ever considering canceling our National Day Parade.

In fact, I was saying, just do away with the NDP entirely. What is the point of a flypast and all that military display? Are we a communist nation like… North Korea?

Firstly, celebrating National Day with parades, even military ones are not unique to authoritarian or semi-authoritarian states.

I understand the grievances that xizor2000 posted on his blog. I share many of them. But canceling NDP will not make those problems go away.

Maybe it seems there is nothing to celebrate but I think that’s not true. Each year, there are many things about Singapore worth celebrating and we as a nation should celebrate.

I find it ironic that we accuse our leaders of just making decisions based solely on hard, cold, logical reasoning that are usually economically motivated and then one of the reasons we give for canceling the NDP is founded on economic considerations.

Of course, people asking for the NDP to be canceled might be pointing out the hypocrisy in wasting resources for a parade at a time when the government is asking us not to waste. I think if that is the intention, then there might be some merit.

However, do note consuming resources is different from wasting resources. NDP consumes resources but is it necessarily wasting resources? I believe that question is still open to debate and not an open-shut-chopped-stamped-signed-sealed-with-model-answer question.

Of course the cynic will always wonder what good a National Day Parade does. To be honest, I don’t think it does any lasting good for the rest of the year after the parade. Our hearts may be stirred by the proceedings of the day but once the we get back to the daily grind, a lot of the goodwill is lost as we fight for survival or the quest to make sure it is our foot stomping on another person’s face.

Yet without it, what it means is we don’t even have one day, one pivotal event on the calendar to stop and think what it means to be Singaporean and yes, feel Singaporean. We don’t even have that once chance to generate goodwill in some of us that hopefully last through the year.

I agree it is pretty pathetic to accord one day so much power to make things slightly better. And National Day shouldn’t be such a day. It should be part of many days. No. It should be the bookends to a year filled with many such days. A day when we celebrate the progress made in the past year, and look forward to greater heights as a society the next year. An Annual General Meeting for the citizens and Auditing of the nation’s conscience and consciousness.

The National Day Parade isn’t the complete solution as we try to make Singapore a better place and develop our identity as a nation. Yet, while it is not a sufficient condition, it is to me, a necessary one.

Note: If you have reached the end, you will probably come to a certain little thought – National Day and National Day Parade are two different things. We can cancel the National Day Parade and still keep our National Day – just find different ways to celebrate it. I agree. I think that is a viable direction we could, or possibly should, head towards. There might be more meaningful ways to celebrate our National Day.

When I wrote this post, I wrote it from the Singaporean view that in most of our consciousness, the National Day Parade has been indelibly linked with National Day. Canceling one seems like canceling the other.

The videos and related Digg links that introduced me to Frank Zappa, Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins around the time when I started working.

Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa on Crossfire 1986

Frank Zappa Destroys Robert Novak on the Issue of Censorship (1986)

Richard Dawkins

First video of Dawkins at work (now removed):

Atheist Richard Dawkins Owns Evangelical Christian Ted Haggard

Atheist Richard Dawkins Destroys Students from Jerry Falwell’s University

Christopher Hitchens

DEBATE: Christopher Hitchens vs. Al Sharpton: God is Not Great

This routine of George Carlin actually crystallized a lot of my thoughts about God and gave more to think about.

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!

But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.

Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would’ve been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say “this guy”, because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.

No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he’s at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn’t give a shit. Doesn’t give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.

So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn’t give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.

And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can’t see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I’m big on that. If I can see something, I don’t know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we’re not setting people on fire simply because they don’t agree with us.

Sun worship is fairly simple. There’s no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don’t have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I’m unworthy. Doesn’t tell me I’m a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn’t said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don’t pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn’t presume on our friendship. It’s not polite.

I’ve often thought people treat God rather rudely, don’t you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It’s not nice. And it’s no way to treat a friend.

But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you’d really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you’d have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?

Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn’t in God’s Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn’t it seem a little arrogant? It’s a Divine Plan. What’s the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?

And here’s something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren’t answered. What do you say? “Well, it’s God’s will.” “Thy Will Be Done.” Fine, but if it’s God’s will, and He’s going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn’t you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It’s all very confusing.

So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don’t pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he’s a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn’t fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.

For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.

So I’ve been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don’t. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit’s foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat’s testicles, it’s all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.

And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that’s a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I’m sure you’ll like that. Then there’s Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn’t care for, by the way. And finally, I’ve always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again.” That’s because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.

In fact, I’m gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody’s okay? All right, tell you what, I’ll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I’ve got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I’m blind. I’m blind, oh, now I’m okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!

The longer you listen to this abortion debate, the more you hear the phrase “sanctity of life,” “sanctity of life.” You believe in it? Personally, I think it’s a bunch of shit. I mean, life is sacred? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death.

How come when it’s with us, it’s an ‘abortion’, and when it’s with chickens it’s an ‘omelet’?

Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?

And my favorite:

If you think a fetus is more important than a woman, try getting a fetus wash the shit stains out of your underwear!

“I think it is the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”

George Carlin is apparently dead. I’m sad that I never got to see him perform live. One of his claims to fame was the seven dirty words – Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits.

He was supposed to receive this year’s Mark Twain Prize, a lifetime achievement award presented to an outstanding comedian.

He did something that none of my English teachers ever did – taught me the concept of unnecessary words and actually made me love the English language. I love how he is so spot-on with the hypocrisies that fill this world.

Discovered him first through his books, then random quotes online. Only when YouTube and video sharing sites took off did I manage to follow more of his stuff after I started working.

Go seek out his works.

George Carlin, I’ll miss you.

I hope he gets to Heaven, assuming there is a God and a Heaven. He was so angry only because he probably actually cared.

Updated: If we keep saying he should go to heaven, he might be pissed enough to come back and kick our asses. That’s a thought.

Updated: New York Times has written an article about him.

“I don’t have pet peeves,” he said, correcting the interviewer. And with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he added, “I have major, psychotic hatreds.”

“Scratch any cynic,” he said, “and you’ll find a disappointed idealist.”

Updated: You know you are getting older when your heroes start dying.

Updated: Buzzfeed has a list of links about George Carlin and his death.

Updated: This was not written by George Carlin.

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits

Via tomorrow.sg, I found this video of a guy Matt who has been traveling around the world and videotaping himself dancing at notable locations in those countries.

I love videos like this that remind us of all the common threads that bind us as humans and how dance and music is so linked with what it means to be human.

Matt’s website is here. His wikipedia entry is here.

Matt is a 31-year-old deadbeat from Connecticut who used to think that all he ever wanted to do in life was make and play videogames. Matt achieved this goal pretty early and enjoyed it for a while, but eventually realized there might be other stuff he was missing out on. In February of 2003, he quit his job in Brisbane, Australia and used the money he’d saved to wander around Asia until it ran out.
One of my greatest regret about my university life is that I didn’t travel overseas enough. In fact, I only traveled once. It was a combination of mismanagement of finances to thinking I didn’t have enough to travel to where I wanted to go and not doing something about that.

Wanting something is really different from desiring something. I wanted to travel. Not desire. I think that is slowing changing.

Anyway, last week learned of this book “Honeymoon with my Brother” through a tweet by Guy Kawasaki.

What do you do when your fiancée dumps you so close to the wedding that the flowers, food, and guests are already en-route?

“You should go ahead and have it,” counseled my brother Kurt. “Your friends will be there. The wine will be there. Why let everything go to waste?”

So I did. I had a full wedding weekend with a golf tournament on Friday, a rehearsal dinner on Saturday, and even a mock wedding ceremony on Sunday. Of the 150 invited guests, 75 turned up — my entire side of the aisle. They only thing missing was the bride.

I then decided to take Kurt on my pre-paid Costa Rican honeymoon. We canceled the champagne and roses, and promised not to carry each other over any thresholds. My head was a cyclone, as you can imagine. I was depressed, angry, confused, suspicious, and even a little bit relieved.

But during the trip, a strange thing happened. I realized having my life turn upside-down might not be such a bad thing after all. Kurt and I did something we hadn’t done in decades — talk, at length, about lives, frustrations, and fears. It felt meaningful and rewarding to re-bond with a brother I barely knew.

So, Kurt and I decided to continue the honeymoon. We quit our jobs, sold our homes, gave away our clothes, threw our cell phones into the trash, and continued to honeymoon for two years and 53 countries!

I don’t think humans were ever meant to be static creatures. Modern work has domesticated us. We were meant to be out there, moving, traveling, wandering. I think something dies inside when we just go through the daily cycle of traveling to work and then traveling home.

That’s one reason why I loathe settling down – getting that HDB, that car, that dog….

We were not meant to live like that. Working just to pay off that flat, those wheels, those bills.

Like my sister would say, we are in cages, it is just that ours look nicer.

This was overheard at a dinner last night.

Guy: My gf does not allow me to talk to her when I play DOTA.

Everyone: Why?

Guy: She said I don’t concentrate.

Everyone: Is she right?

Guy: Of course not. I’m definitely concentrating on my game.