Ian On The Red Dot

My friend asked this question on his blog and my answer is reproduced below.
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I didn’t read your blog for a while. Too busy trying to figure out what next to do for our game. I am stuck. Pass, get new tiles or just go for a below ten points word. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

I think I shared with you that I am a practical atheist. I believe that there is a God(god) but live my life like he doesn’t exist.

One question which I have always asked myself is why I believe he/she/it (for convenience, I will use ‘he’ for the rest of this comment) exists.

And I have come to believe that it is because I grew up with Christian parents. Indoctrination. Brainwashing. Even with my training as an engineer and grounding in science I cannot let go of that belief. It isn’t easy. Part of the reason is the fear of hell. Seriously, you would need to grow up in a Christian family to really understand how deeply ingrained that fear is. Of course, some people would claim that they want to experience the goodness of Heaven, but I find it hard if not impossible to separate these two reasons in the Christian doctrine.

I would like to point out there is actually a difference in being religious and believing in the existence of a god. For example, I am most definitely not religious by whatever standards a church might have. There is a term for people like me. Backslider. But I do believe in a god.

I bring this distinction up because I think the questions why you are religious and why you believe in the existence of a god(s) have two different answers.

The reason why a person might be religious is because they see the benefits it brings or fear the consequences of not believing. These benefits and consequences play to needs some of us have and we use Religion to meet that need. Some people are comfortable with using religion to meet that needs through what seems like suspension of logic and other aren’t. People like you might meet the same needs in different ways.

Of course, there are people who want the best of both worlds. They want to believe in a god and also want to reconcile that belief with science. I am one such person. Personally, I don’t believe there is any contradiction between Creationism and Darwinism because I do not subscribe to the notion that the Bible is a complete work that contains the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Like how a plant grows through the planting of the seed by the gardener, god could have created us by laying that seed which through the process of evolution, things have come to be.

Which of course goes back to the question. Why do you believe in a god? Partly like I said above is because I grew up in a Christian family. But another reason is my mind cannot wrap around the notion that all these laws (e.g Law of Gravity) and processes (e.g Evolution) just came to exist. I see order in the physical world and cannot fathom how order could be established unless some sort of engineering was in place. However, this reason betrays me because by subscribing to it I am already believing the very thing I want to refute. Which is how did god even come into being? How did god even come to exist? Now how do you explain that. You can’t. It is by faith.

The faith stems from the notion that there needs to be a starting point. Some point that you can pin down in the narrative of the universe and the human species. Scientists have their Big Bang, people like me have our gods. The question about a starting point is interesting, because even if you talk about the Big Bang, where was the original mass and energy from if energy cannot be created or destroyed (I think scientists are working on this)? Where is the starting point?

So why do I believe in a god? Because my human mind is linear. I need to see a start and an end in this narrative and it is by sheer chance of circumstance (I was born in a Christian family), selective reading (I read more books that support the existence of a god then books that don’t) and mental convenience (using god as a starting point is easier than using the big bang theory or equivalent because you need to explain those by the standards of science while I can just say faith for the former).

Of course I would like to justify my faith by saying that I have been touched by his presence. But seriously…
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In related stuff, why does God hate amputees?

I first found out about the show ‘Who Wants To Be A Superhero‘ after seeing it advertised in the Straits Times. It seems that Mr Miyagi might have also noticed the same advert. He talks about the show, possible Singapore heroes and Captain SMRT. Reading about his ideas for possible Singapore heroes, I remembered this post by Justin on Singaporean Superheroes.

I remembered a story idea I was working on during the days of sitting outside the old National Library and drinking Tiger beer from S11 with my bros from Esp. Here is a revised introduction to the heroes in my story.

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Team File: The Local Boys

Notes on Team:

Young and inexperienced. Have a tendency to be impulsive.

Possesses what would generally be classified as mental abilities.

None of the members have abilities which enhance physical capabilities (i.e. no invulnerability, no super speed…).

Not suited for direction confrontation, shock and awe missions.

Should generally be used for below the radar 007 missions.

The Team:

1.

Buayaman

Horny in the day.
Horny in the night.
Satisfied by dawn.
Name: Classified

NRIC: Classified

Other Aliases: 1st Brother

Other Group Affiliations: ABCEL (Alligator, Buaya, Crocodile, e yu, lacoste)

Powers
Possesses ability to convince anyone to do his bidding.

Limitations
Ability only works within close range with the subject.

Weakness
Fears Rejection.

Background
Growing up as an ACS boy, he had his lion’s share of the female population. He especially liked girls from SCGS and RGS.

Always assumed his ability to get lucky with gals was from his ACS pedigree, dashing good looks and sixth avenue address.

In NS, he started to discover the full extent of his ability when he managed to never once do a single guard duty and booked out more times than some people change underwear.

Notes
Usually in a state of undress.

Unsure of the source of his ability. Is he actually doing mind control where his words are a way of helping him direct that control? Would he be able to directly control the mind without needing to speak?

And is the potential of his ability limited to within the short range or can it be channeled over other media like radio.

2.

Lampaman

Vulgar hooligan on the streets.
Sensitive lover in the home.

Name: Classified

NRIC: Classified

Other Aliases: 2nd Brother

Other Group Affiliations: Cheebyekias, LaoHeroes

Powers
Possesses the ability to communicate with any organic sentient being with the use of hand signals.

Limitations
While able to communicate with any organic sentinent being, his lack of tact has threatened the destruction of earth by alien forces more times than Superman has saved Lois Lane.

Weakness
The sound of fake accented English has been known to drive him temporarily insane.

Background
Loves to swear. His favourite means of swearing would be to make a fist with his right hand, pointing one end of it at the object of scolding and slap the other end with his left hand.

Discovered the ability when his ex-gf’s dog barked something which he understood when swearing at the ex-gf.
Basically, it went down like this:
Girl - I never cheat on you.
Guy - making hand signal to swear at girl.
Dog barks.
Guy - WTF? I think the dog just told me there are naked pictures of you and him in a hidden folder in the sub-directory….and she wants to be fed.

Notes
Like Buayaman, it is still not confirmed if his ability is a mental one with the hand signals as a way of focusing the ability.

While a brilliant field agent, his lack of tact makes him a poor leader.

3.

Seven

Multimillionaire Gambler with
Multipersonality Disorder.
Name: Classified

NRIC: Classified

Other Aliases: 3rd Brother

Other Group Affiliations: Groucho Marx’s Club

Powers
Possesses the ability to see and communicate with dead people.

Limitations
Will absorb the personality and memories of the people he communicates with. Duration of this effect is not fixed. Past personalities have resurfaced after long periods of being dormant.

Weakness
Fears social and physical contact.

Background
First suspected his ability when trying to board the bus with a friend. The friend was cursing why the people on the bus could not to move to the back so that others could board and he commented that the back of the bus was full.

Apparently, he saw the ghosts that were there.

Subsequent manifestation of the ability was when trying to board a car of a SMRT train. Friend commented why people couldn’t move to the middle of the cars instead of clogging up the entrance and he commented that the middle was full.

Confirmation of the ability occurred when standing in queue with a friend to buy Toto and a stranger told him the winning numbers.

Notes
Apparently, his childhood imaginary friends might not be so imaginary after all. The question of how he managed to suppress this ability till adulthood is possibly an important one.

4.

Mugger Toad.

Mild mannered scholar by day.
Level 60 warlock by night.

Name: Classified

NRIC: Classified

Other Aliases: 4th Brother

Other Group Affiliations: ORA

Powers
Possesses Genius Level Memory Retention.
Rapid eye movement with extra strong fingers that aid in page flipping gives him speed reading ability.

Limitations
While able to retain large amounts of information, suffers from the inability of being unable to identify how to use that knowledge.

Weakness
Suffers from a great fear of failure.

Background
Was an exceptional student going through the Singapore education system. Scored As for every single paper for every exam from PSLE to A Levels.

Thought to possess genius level intellect but clearer understanding of his powers was obtained when he flunked his final exam for the module ‘Film and History’ where a higher level of critical thinking was needed.

Notes
While having little field experience and generally a poor performer in the field, his ability is a great power that can be exploited by others.

His intense need for validation is a means of controlling him.

Someone using the nick of ’superman’ left a comment for my last post and I’m sharing it as a post.  I too wished someone had shared this with me when I was younger.  But hey, live and learn.

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just came across your blog and thought I share my 2 cents worth. I am reaching my 40s and looking back at my silly self back in army and university days I wished someone could have said this to me, so here it goes.

1) losing a girl during army or even university days is really no big deal. there are better girls out there. really. Men always have the advantage on such matters especially when time is always on our side.
2) even if you do get your dream girl, believe me, you will regret it. because there will always be better ones. take it from all my classmates and friends who have been married over these years.
3) focus on dating and learning how to treat a girl right. it is part of growing up. but focus on learning life skills that will be useful to the real world out there. never commit before 28. for most men, we really don’t know what we want in our lives even when we reached 30.
4) date someone who is not from Singapore and make a comparison. you will realise that the world is so much bigger out there and there are a lot of beautiful women out there.
5) the pressure to conform is strong in Singapore. you go through phases. Need to get a girl friend by 18, a steady before you graduate, a HDB flat before 25, first car by 27 etc. but if you survive it, you find that it is fine without all those stuff. that doesn’t mean you are a loser. you just have different priorities.
6) you got to start thinking about your reservist that is coming up. If you work in private sector, especially in high paying jobs, in the finance, investment bank etc, it works against you regardless what they say. If i were you, I would work abroad or do my postgraduate overseas. you will find that it is difficult to serve any reservist at all once you are abroad.

good luck.

So, some guy took a rifle and ammo out of camp and now will probably face rather harsh penalties. The media is all over this and is attributing his actions to a failed relationship. I just totally love the interview that was done with the ex-gf. Seriously, go to ping.sg and follow the story.

Here is what I love about the interview done with the girlfriend. It is done in such a way that the previous threats against the girl by the guy is used as a motivation behind the guy taking the rifle out of camp. It is not explicitly mentioned, but I sense the deft hands of the media is working to give us the impression that he was going to use the weapon on her.

Correct? Wrong? Who knows. But it would be nice to not sabo the guy’s chance of getting a lesser punishment.

But this post isn’t just about this guy. This post is about NS.

I remember my first day at NS. An officer asked all of us assembled who was attached. A good number of my peers put up their hands. He said, “Prepare to be single.”

He went on to explain that some bastard guy in NUS will try to steal your gf. Especially if she stays in hall. He told us not to worry. One day it will be our turn to take some other poor guy’s girlfriend.

It is how it works. At least that is what he told us. I think it just happened to him.

The reasoning behind this is that women are weak. They want attention and national service will prevent the guy from giving that attention. So they will look for attention elsewhere if not welcome it from whoever wants to give it to them. The classic excuse in such argument pertaining to this will be as follows:

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GUY: Why do you keep going out with him?

GIRL: Ok what. We are just friends.

GUY: NO! He likes you lah. Don’t you know?

GIRL(lying to herself): No lah. He is a nice guy. We are just friends. He doesn’t like me.

GUY: He likes you!

GIRL: Ok. But so what? I don’t like him. So why can’t I just go out with him. I only treat him as a friend. Don’t worry.

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I can’t begin to explain how the girl is setting the relationship up for a fall. Granted not all women are like this, but I can say, I have known enough Singaporean girls to say that a significant number like to deceive themselves. And they have a really deluded notion of the honour in man. Seriously? You girls really trust us that much?

And guys, we smell bullshit. I mean, a good number of us have been in the position of the other guy. And our conversation with said girl would be:

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GIRL: I don’t understand Dick. He doesn’t like me to go out with you. I already told him we are just friends and that you don’t like me.

GUY(lying through his teeth): Yeah lah. I don’t like you. Just friends hanging out also cannot.

GIRL: Sigh…

GUY: He damn possessive and insecure hor.

GIRL: Sigh….

GUY to self: I am wearing her down. YES!

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Girls, here is the thing. If he is really interested in being your friend, he won’t mind group outings among other things even if it is group outings all the time. Rope in other single female friends (I use others, cos you are effectively single) and get that guy to rope in other friends. Do this all the time. Rinse. Repeat. And he won’t discuss your bf problems with you. I’m not saying that guy friends shouldn’t be there as emotional support for female friends, but it would be wiser to have group counseling if it is impossible to get her to speak to another female friend. Why?

Because humans are weak. The standard conversation in the mind of a guy facing problems with the girlfriend is recreated below.

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GIRL: I understand how you feel about Jane (i.e. the gf).

GUY to self: Rachel really understands me. Why can’t Jane be like her?

GIRL: (words are coming out of mouth but guy not really paying attention)

GUY to self: I mean, why can’t Jane be like Rachel and realize I need my space and it is not that I don’t love her, but a guy needs to be able to watch soccer once a week with his guy friends. Damn it. Hell, I think Rachel would join us to watch those matches.

GIRL: (words are coming out of mouth but guy not really paying attention)

GUY to self: Why didn’t I chase Rachel?

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Guys are not exempt from putting themselves in positions where the relationship with their gfs are vulnerable. The difference is guys are bastards. We actively seek out such situations. Girls are weak. They deceive themselves into such positions. Generalizations. Most definitely. But do a count, an honest count of your friends and you will know what I mean.

Regarding insecurity and possessiveness, there are many times based on the conversations with friends, I notice how people create situations which just breed and fester these negative emotions in their partners. Granted some people are emotionally and mentally weak and more susceptible to such stuff, the thing about love is that if you know your partner is like this and since you have chosen to be with that person, sacrifice and compromise needs to come in. Guys, you don’t really need that many female friends. And Girls, you don’t really need that many guy friends. But hey, we all like to hedge. Don’t we?

But this post is about NS. And how some people are not cut out for it.

NS is tough. Not as tough as the kind our dads went through, but they are cut from a different cloth. They were tougher. We? We are weak, and so while our dads would probably laugh at what we do for NS now, it is tough for us because we are weaker. Sweeping statements? Maybe, but touch your heart and hope to die, do you actually think our NS is the same as our dads? And do you actually think we are as tough as them?

NS fucks around with the mind especially if you resent that you have to do it. Some people manage to integrate NS with their civilian life but some can’t. Some see NS as an encroachment to their real life and they resent it. Some people can’t prevent their personal (seriously though, aren’t all problems personal?) problems from affecting their NS and some can’t prevent the NS shit (i.e. guard duty, sergeant asking you to knock it down cos you don’t carry his balls, officer from that fucked up jc damn guai lan cos he scholar) from affecting their civilian life. Transference and all that nonsense.

We didn’t choose to do NS. It is our duty. Some welcome it, some resent it, some cope with it but not all.

Do we really think it is advisable to put all our guys through something they might not be able to deal with and which might screw up the rest of their lives. Not exactly making them thieves because we don’t give them food and they have to steal bread, but it is somewhere there? No?

Of course, some people will point out that most of us guys have passed through NS and have coped with it just fine. We didn’t messed up out lives during NS and those who did, we probably have found some other way to messed it up anyhow - Geniuses tend to be like that.

The operative word is cope. Very few people thrive during their time in NS. Some people have learned stuff that benefited them later on in life but then again, there are many ways to learn that fire can burn your skin - you don’t exactly need to touch fire to do that. About people messing up their life anyway because they are inclined to be screwed up, the thing is while there may be a set of such people, might not NS help create more of such people by putting people who can’t deal with it in it?

Coping. I know of guys who started visiting prostitutes just to deal with the loneliness. Some guys turned to religion. Some started reading. Some started to take classes. Some smoked.

Coping. Some had the support to live through NS. Some didn’t. Some will. Some won’t.

Me? I effectively managed to compartmentalize my life. Nothing civilian stepped into camp. Nothing NS entered the home. I put a pause on my life. No integrating, ns-life balance for me. I was a dog to the state for those 2 and a half years (seriously, why do you thing it is called a dog tag?). Weekends are not entitlements, they are privileges. I chose not to book out for some days preferring to stay in camp. Social stuff was trimmed - nothing frustrates a person more when he has made plans with friends only to cancel it because the company sergeant major wants to keep the company back. For those two years, it ain’t your life. Start thinking about it that way. Don’t fight it.

Prepare to lose everything.

If you have to ask, you don’t deserve an answer.

Sample Questions:

1.  Is this a joke?

2.  Is this a parody?

3.  Is this present for me?

4.  Dear, what did I do wrong this time?

Engineering Guy Crashing Art Faculty’s Lecture:  Dude, how do you even concentrate during lecture with all the hot girls around.

Art Student:  Not very well.

Engineering Guy:  Yup.  Thought so.  I think I would be able to concentrate better without the gals.

Art Student:  So how are your lectures?

Engineering Guy:  I don’t know.  I don’t go for them.

Art Student:  Why not?

Engineering Guy:  No girls.