I read in yesterday’s New Paper about this match-making agency offering a package in which you can get a bride from China for an initial downpayment of $1 and subsequent interest free instalments.
I have no statistics but I can’t help thinking that the demographics for the guys looking for such brides are in the middle-aged, middle-class category. And the girls coming over are mostly young women in their twenties. So let’s say the age gap is about 20 years on average. Hmmm… How can one get such statistics? Is it open information?
When these guys are 65, the girls are 45. That for a woman isn’t that old and she still has some good deal of her life to lead. The time spent in Singapore up till then would probably have given enough experience to be able to survive on her own in Singapore as compared to the first time she came to Singapore from some village when she was young 20 years ago.
So… Would she want to spend the rest of her life caring for her ageing husband? I’m no mind reader or fortune teller, but I’m a cynic, and i think the answer is no.
Let’s be honest. Most people in such marriages aren’t marrying for love. The guy is at best marrying for companionship, at worse marrying for access to a young girl for sex. The girl is at best marrying for a better life, at worse marrying in hope to be able to leech as much as possible from the husband and then go and live her own life. In any case, such marriages are a practical decision and can only last as long as its worth both parties while to stay in it.
And I can’t see it worth the while for the brides from overseas to stay for long. Except of course if they believe that if the husband dies, they can get something and it might be worth their while to stick around. Or if they have a child and don’t think they can provide for the child well without the husband.
Can love blossom between such a couple. I’m sure in some cases it might happen. But most? Even marriages done in love don’t always do well, so what about such marriages? And what is the social cost when such marriages do fail? I can’t help but worry at that thought.